*whew!!*

So, I haven't posted in a while, right? Wow, sorry about that!

I'd be surprised if anyone still checks this! ;)

Well, let me update you on a few things:

After about 2 months of long practices throughout the week, pageant finally came and went! Our theme was "De'Masque," which means "Unmasked". It was an awesome experience! Here it is through some pics (there's a lot!):

This is at our banquet the night before pageant. We ate yummy food and each of our sponsoring organizations had a beautiful place setting waiting for us at our seat!

The first night was talent night and I performed a pantomime skit about true beauty. It turned out to be a huge hit! ;)

Julie and me before we went on stage to perform our dance on the second night!

Beautiful girls!

This was during evening gown walk- I wasn't nervous at all!

Stroll!

I made top 10!!

Then I made top 5, which is crazy! I answered my questions without an ounce of anxiety in me! God answered my prayer!

My proud, proud parents with me at the reception afterwards. It was so much fun and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything else. By the way, I made 4th runner up!! :)

Life after pageant has been pretty busy, surprisingly. I thought I would be bored without having practices to go to, but I got a new job (my third one!) and I'm still keeping up with classes- mainly writing and reading a LOT. More than the average student, I'm sure! haha :) I hope you enjoyed this post! It was due!

"All the world's a stage..."

My favorite class is currently Shakespeare. Just thought I'd share :) We had our midterm today and I think I made an A. I get advised for my last semester of classes next Monday. I will have MWF off, so I'm thinking of a job that I could take.. possibly subbing. I'm pretty excited!!

Lately God has been teaching me more about being real. And that's mainly why I'm writing about this, because I want to be obedient to what He is telling me, and be completely real and not cover anything up. So here goes...

He really had to break me down a couple nights ago... I was babysitting and the kids had gone to sleep and I was pretty tired because I was re-reading some Shakespeare. I got a phone call from one of my guy friends on campus, a fellow English lover, and told him that I couldn't go to a Shakespeare play with the group we had planned. Anyways, a mutual girlfriend of ours was in the background... we hung out earlier this semester, but not so much lately.

You may be thinking, "Yeah, so what's the big deal?" Well, small things usually surface larger feelings. And just so you know, I in no way have any feelings for this guy. But for some reason, God used a simple conversation and realization that my two friends were hanging out without me, and told me that I wasn't being real in my relationships with people. I don't know when this behavior started, but I'm thinking when my dad was deployed. I had told myself that I would not dwell on all the emotion that came with my dad being gone. I knew that I would be strong. But now I know that there is no winning with that battle. You have to deal with your emotions.

I was upset because I don't know these two people in that way. I feel like I haven't been real with anyone in a long time. I haven't told you that sometimes, or most of the time, I don't always have it together. I get stressed out. I compare the way I look with other girls. I'm not always happy with who God made me. But He's teaching me everyday. He's teaching me through pageant, and other things. But I never discuss these things with anyone.

I could sit here and say "Woe be me because I don't have a significant other to share things with and be real with." And I'm not going to make this one of my posts about being single, but God does call us to relationshipS (that's plural) with one another where we carry each other's burdens. I'm tired of hiding the fact that I fail sometimes.

So here it is in all caps: I MESS UP. I AM NOT PERFECT. I HAVE TO LEAN ON MY HEAVENLY FATHER, AND RELY ON MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. WE ALL HAVE TO. LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

I'm just tired of the superficial, acquaintance-type relationships. So lets go beyond that and actually talk to each other. I'm not going to worry about whether or not I would be revealing too much, because I don't reveal enough at all, and instead, I put up a mask of perfection.... which I hope people have seen through.

Is anyone with me? Does anyone else get bogged down with the false standard of everything being together? Because I am. And I hope that I made you think. Because it's been on my heart lately, and I'm trying to break down walls that I have put up.

I want to be real with you.

*Siiigh* :)

I thought I'd post a picture since I haven't in a while. This was during our first week back at school. I'm standing with all of my "nieces" in my welcome week family from this year. That was our 80s night- we had a dance and everything! It was pretty fun!! :)

I'm listening to Canon in D and decided it was good music to blog to :) Well, this week has been going well. I had my first test today in Creative Writing over Catch 22. I'm not sure how I did, but I guess I'll find out soon enough!!

Last night was our first official pageant practice. We started out with our talents. If you've been reading, you know that I'm miming. I'm pretty confident that I'm going down in UMHB history for that one- I'll have to do my research to be sure. I was 2nd to last in order of performance for practice, so I had a good hour for my anxiety to increase. But, I got up on stage and performed to "I Feel Pretty". People laughed at the right parts, which is a good sign. I was really nervous and did everything so quickly and ended before my music did... so that will be something to worry about :) But everyone said they liked it- so that's good!! Tomorrow night is "evening gown night" so we are all wearing our heels and learning how to walk gracefully. We'll see how that works out!!! :)

I hope everyone is having a good week!

Well, another week has passed! September seems as if it is just flying by :)

This week went well. On Monday night we had pageant orientation and it seems as if there will be many fun times to be had. I was so comforted because everyone seems to be in the same boat of anxiety. So that's nice. Practice starts on Monday, and will be on M,T,Th from 6-9 until November! We perform our talent on Tuesday night, so I'm practicing my mime skit!!

I got to meet up with my mime teacher on Wednesday. She has studied under Marcel Marceau- I am so blessed! She is so nice and had so many great ideas :)

Tonight I went country dancing which was way fun. I've learned all the steps to the songs which is really nice :) All of the instructors are so nice. I even get to babysit for 2 of them!! :)

Well, that's a summary of my life right now. Tomorrow I begin planning for Guatemala trip!!!

Back to School (and other ramblings...)

So can you find the grammatical error in my last post? :) I must have been very tired when I wrote that one!

Well, lets see.... I have not felt like blogging in a long time! It's not like me at all, but it's true. :( I will try to catch you up, just in case you'd like to know!

I'm still working at the retirement/nursing home, and it has been going well. While I've grown to really enjoy the old folks, I'm ready to go back to school. Sometimes being a waitress can be really tough work, and I don't know if I could do it for a consistent amount of time. Luckily, I go back to UMHB on Wednesday!

I'm very excited about it because this year holds so many opportunities. I'm looking forward to moving into the house and the many get togethers that will take place there. I'm also looking forward to pageant. I'm still nervous about it... but I know God has it all under control. I've never ever performed anything in front of a large group (much less the whole school!) so this will be a stretch for me. I'm feeling very comfortable with my talent, and while it needs a lot more practice, it's something that I know has a message and is still very cute and funny. If you haven't heard, I will be miming for my talent, and no, I'm not kidding! :) I think it will be a ton of fun to get to know all the other girls participating, and to be a part of UMHB's history. Not every girl gets the chance to do this, so it will be a ton of fun (and hard work)!

I'm also taking quite a few classes that will demand much of my attention! In no particular order, they are: Shakespeare, Advanced Composition, World Literature, British Literature, and Creative Writing. I am looking forward to all of these, but I also know that if I don't have a strict study schedule, this could be very, very bad! But it'll be fun, I know it. I'm really interested in Creative Writing (it may produce many blog posts!) and World Literature.

I'm currently applying for a tutoring job at a high school near UMHB, so that will be fun to get to know what it feels like to "teach" at the high school level. It will probably be very different from my other job on campus as a tutor for college students, but I'm up for it. It may sound crazy that I'll be working 2 jobs (3 if you count babysitting on Saturdays!), participating in pageant, and taking a full load of upper level English courses, but I know it will be great. I know that I thrive off of this type of schedule, but I also need to find times to rest. Maybe you can pray for me as I start this semester.. please? :)

On another note, my dad comes home by the end of the month! We are very excited to finally have him home and safe. I can't wait to give him a huge hug and tell him to never ever leave again! ;)

My last day of work is on Monday, and then I go back to Belton on Wednesday! I'm very excited about getting back into the groove of things! I can't believe it's my SENIOR YEAR. Seize the day! :)

Question and Answer :)

What's new with me? Well, hmmmm...

I have enjoyed my day off, and am excited about another one tomorrow! I had a test in my History class today, but it wasn't bad at all. Then I tried to go to different bookstores to find a book of skits, with no success :( This is going to be really hard.

Stephanie- to answer your question about pageant. I can't believe I haven't told you!! Well, MHB has a pageant each year, and I will be representing the Student Foundations group on campus. Student Foundations is an organization that helps out with different events for the alumni. It's very fun to talk with them and hear their stories about their time at UMHB, too. :) Anyways, the pageant will be held in November, and I think there are about 25 girls that participate each year. We have a platform, talent, evening gown walk, and a private interview with judges. Before coming to UMHB, I remember seeing pictures of it, and thinking, "Wow that looks really neat, but I would never do it." When I was given the chance to participate, I hesitated, but decided to do it. It's going to be a long journey, but I am very excited about meeting all the other girls and seeing what God has in store. I know there will be a lot of growth, and I look forward to it. Oh, and guess what I've chosen for my talent? Mime! I even have a "mime coach"! Finding skits is the hard part though... :)

Hawaii, Pageant, House, and High School! :)

Well I'm awake at 11:28 at night and I'm writing on my blog. For some reason, I haven't had any desire to blog lately, so this post may be a little random.

Tonight we had Hawaii night at work, and I got to dress in something besides my uniform :) I wore a purple Orchid in my hair, and it was very fun! We even had Hawaiian dancers perform for all the old people. Some of the old people even got up with them and learned a little dance. It was very cute and fun to see them in a different setting! However, the Hawaiian theme really made me want to get away and have a vacation. I'm not even that busy! I have a feeling that adjusting to college life will be a little hard for me when I go back...

I'm still excited about going to MHB. Lauren and I got into our house that we wanted, and we are very excited! My mom gave me a couch that is quite comfy if I do say so myself. We have everything we need for the house except for a dining table, which is especially important because we have a nook, and every nook needs a dining table. Well, I need a dining table, too, but a nook is all the more reason to have a dining table. :) Here are some sneak peeks of our house that is just waiting for us to move in:



Now how cool is that? We have a loft and a fireplace. I'm just so excited!

About next year, I have a wonderful feeling about it. I know this is probably natural since I have so many things to look forward to (like my dad being back!), but I really do have a good feeling. I know God has big plans and that a lot of growth is in store. I'm very excited!

Lets see.. what else? Pageant planning is making me a little nervous. My mom and I are supposed to go look for dresses soon.. I have one in mind, but I want to look at all of them. I'm also still trying to find the perfect skit for my talent. Who knew that I'd ever be a part of this? I'm excited, but very, very NERVOUS! :)

This probably should have been one post in itself, but I am definitely teaching high school English now! How exciting! Everything fit perfectly on my schedule, which is very important since I'm trying to fit in my last year. I always hear that it's hard to do. In a year from now I will be preparing to student teach, which is just a tad bit crazy! This upcoming semester I will be taking:
-World Literature
-Shakespeare
-Advanced Composition
-American Literature to 1890
-Students and Learning

It is going to be quite the busy semester, but after that, I only have to take 12 hours in the Spring! I'm excited about that break! I will have to be diligent with my schedule this fall. I will have to say no to things when I need to, and stay on top of my studies. I mean, look at those classes! As intriguing as they sound, they will require a lot of time and studying. I think I am most excited about World Literature. :) We shall see!

Not much else is on my mind :) I've just been doing summer school and work lately! :) I hope you're all doing well. If you read through all of this, you are awesome!!