Okay. There is something you need to know. Something I need to know. Something we all need to know.
So, being on Revival Steering Committee and MLC, and involved in my local church.. you'd think I would be just fine and dandy with God, right? Well, I think God might just be trying to tell me something right now....
I cried tonight because I realized I was completely wrong, and that I didn't have any ounce of goodness in me. I am trying to walk alone. I am trying to deal with my family being apart, with the war that caused that... trying to deal with friendships that have gone sour, trying to deal with the sin in my life on my own, as if I had the power to fix any of it. It's as if I'm trying to hold all of this in with my hands that are made of ice, and that they're just melting now. It's like God's hands of steel are right in front of me, and I haven't done a thing about it because for some reason I have felt that the ice would never melt or break. It's as if I'm all wrong... because I am.
I haven't kept Christ as the center of my life. I have told myself that I have, and have made it all about me (my decisions, my own doings) in the process. After telling your something that is false repeatedly, you begin to believe it, and then it ends up hitting you all at once.
And then sometimes I think I'm just being an emotional girl, but this stuff matters. It matters that I haven't been taking this seriously, the fact that God controls this, not me, and it would all be fine if I just let Him.
Pray that the dry bones would have life breathed into them. And let me know if you need prayer as well. Seriously. Thanks.
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2 comments:
Oh, Krista, it sounds like quite a few of us had a tough day yesterday, with similar problems. You're not the only friend whose blog entry yesterday was along those lines, and if I'd have blogged, well, let's just say it wouldn't have been uplifting.
But today's a new day, my friend, and hopefully it bears a new perspective, and renewed hope. Life can be full of the swampy mires that have to be waded through. And when our feet get stuck in the mud, we have to cry to our Father to get us out. I'm sure that's why He allows us to get stuck in the first place...
^^she's right :) it's been a dry time for me, too. but i'm glad that we know it IS ONLY for a "time," and that eventually the time will be over :) since God is our Father, we can trust in Him.... love you.
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