Reflections on Psalm 34

Life feels as if it has been flying by for about the past week or so.God has been teaching me a lot lately, and I'm striving more and more each day to be completely satisfied in Him. He really laid Psalm 34 on my heart in a new way this week. I started thinking about all of these different parts of my future that I absolutely have no control over, and knew that I needed His guidance. His gift to me that night was Psalm 34. To give you an idea of the thoughts of the future that have been running through my head, here's a short list:
-This summer in San Antonio
-Graduating
-Friendships
-Every day decisions
-Guatemala trip
-Life after graduation- Singleness, etc.

So often I feel as if my thoughts are consumed by questions on the future. I worry so much about it to the point that it's ridiculous. Suddenly I realized that those thoughts were taking away from my present time, and that it wasn't my life to worry about anyways. My life is His, and good thing, because He has it all under control.

There's one verse in Psalm 34 that really struck me:

"The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing." - Psalm 34:10

How many times have I wanted and hungered for something in my life to just happen? Like the answers to all of y questions to just appear. I hunger for the knowledge of little things, like "What will this summer bring me?" etc.

But it's not about me. "Those who seek the LORD lack no good thing." It's about seeking Him, and not for any benefit, but because He's the only way!

"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." -Psalm 34:18

He guides, He comforts, He knows so much more than I do. This is why I cannot worry. This is why I cannot be consumed by the maybes of the future. Because my King has redeemed my life.

I have to constantly remember this as my hopes are let down. When friendships don't always meet the expectations I had for them, when certain things turn out to be not for me. I can take comfort and relief in the fact that God does have a plan that is so beyond me. It's not about me.

The Sin of Idolatry

I want to blog a little about something that really hit me at Revival. The very first night, Matt asked, "What is your hell?" He then gave examples of what many people struggle with. His first example was the single Christian girls he sees at his church that just graduate from college. The girl is thinking, "AH! I'm still single, and I'm *gasp* 22 years old." Then these girls proceed to date many guys, constantly giving their hearts away, because of their perception of hell: ending up alone.

Let me tell you, this hit me hard. That is definitely a struggle for me. I don't want to end up "alone".I want to be in love one day with a godly man. I want to have a family. I want, I want, I want, I want. Right??

While he continued to give other examples, his ultimate conclusion was that our hell should be separation from God. He went on to say that God created us with a desire to worship HIM(!!) but all too often we pin that desire on something that He created.

"...because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen." -Romans 1:25

I may not see it now, but I don't want to end up like this, 5, 10, 20 years down the road. I don't want to worship God's creation, rather than God himself.

Another thing Matt said that moved me was when he was talking about his daughter. He said that he so desperately wants for his daughter to grow up and marry a godly man, not just a cool Christian guy. How true is this!! Not only for the husband I want to marry one day, but I too don't want to be just a "cool Christian girl". I want to be a godly woman, I want to reflect His light, I want His words to constantly flow off of my lips! How beautiful will it be when I finally do meet that man of God. How beautiful will it be when I know that God blessed me because I did not give in to my desires to "not be alone", and instead of having that be my hell, my hell was being separated from Him! How beautiful will it be when I can share that love for the Father wish a wonderful, godly man! How beautiful will it be when that relationship glorifies the Lord because we are completely satisfied in Him.

And how beautiful it is that God hits me with these realizations so hard that I can find joy in Him because He is my Father, because He is good... when I delight in His love because it is so much better, powerful, and stronger than anything else I can ever find. How beautiful it is that I can be satisfied in Him and never be alone with or without an earthly relationship.

Revival Update, and Other Things...

Well, these past couple days were a blast. I got to skip a few classes and participate in something I love. :) I will never know how many hearts were changed through this year's revival, but I know that the true word of God was preached and hopefully at least one person thought about where they are with Jesus. I hope that change begins to occur in people's hearts, as well as my own.

While a part of me is sad that revival is already over, another part of me is also very relieved. I'm relieved that all the logistics were handled successfully and I'm glad that people came. Now, I cannot stress out every now and then. :)

Due to revival's late night yesterday, I had my first "semi-all nighter". I went home at about midnight, studied for a couple hours, went to bed for a couple hours, woke up at about 4ish, woke up at 6, took a shower, and studied some more. I know that sounds like academic suicide, but I think it worked! My Linguistics test seemed far easier than I thought it would be... or maybe those are my sleepy brain cells not comprehending it correctly. Who knows?! But I did count up my points and came up with a low A/high B. :) We shall see...

Now I'm at work. Enjoying the fact that I have nothing to do!

***Please pray for my dad! He's flying back today. THANKS!

Revival Week

So, Revival is finally here at UMHB and last night was a great start. Matt Chandler is our speaker, and I must say he's on my top 5 list of preachers. ;) If you have i-Tunes, you should definitely podcast him- it's free! He preached on Romans 1 last night and definitely gave me some food for thought. I'm excited about tonight and tomorrow! This has been a crazy year being involved on the committee- it takes a lot of work that I didn't realize. I am very thankful for the experience and opportunities that God has given me.

Anyways, I have to get going! ;)

Some thoughts just running through my head...

At my small group tonight that I meet with each week, I couldn't sort my thoughts. I haven't been able to sort my thoughts. I'm one of those people that wants answers to questions- clear, distinct answers. I am not getting those answers right now. For some reason tonight, after reading a portion of the sermon on the mount with our group, I felt the need to just be still. I realized that I go throughout my day as a pretty cheerful person (lately). I have been making it a point to try to encourage those around me. I have been going out of my way to meet with people and enjoy time with friends. I have been doing all of these things, and while they may be good, they are not when I haven't found the time to just be still. As I walked back to my apartment tonight, I looked up at the stars and the moon, and everything in me wanted to be somewhere else. My life is not bad at all- I am very blessed. But when I forget about being still, and meeting with Him like I do with my friends, with study groups, with text books... it dawns on me all at once that I am not investing enough of my time in Him. I go throughout my day trying to please Him, talking about Him, thinking of Him... these are all good things. But what about spending just as much time meeting with Him?

Tonight Shawn passed out a list of questions that she found online, and I think they are very important to ask:
1. Am I investing in myself?
2. Am I genuinely interested in others?
3. Am I doing what I love doing and loving what I do?
4. Am I staying in my strength zone?
5. Am I investing my time with the right people?
6. Am I taking others to a higher level? (mission)
7. Am I taking care of today?
8. Am I taking time to think?
9. Am I developing leaders?
10. Am I pleasing God?

None of these things are possible if I'm not on the same page as my awesome Father in Heaven. If I try to accomplish these things... I fail. I feel miserable. Because during the midst of me not spending as much time with Him as I should, I begin to try to do the other things without Him. I begin to live in a way that suggests I don't need Him.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 5:2 (the first beatitude)

So I want to seek His face. I want Him to be my fuel. If He's not, then what I am doing is all in vain.

I never really write a whole lot about this, and I'm sorry to be so transparent, but I want to begin writing things on here that could be of encouragement to you. I want to call them "devotionals", but I don't know if this post would be considered that or not. I hope that this was encouraging to you- maybe you could recognize some of the same characteristics and need for change in your life. I pray that in any way, my words will spur you to chase after our King.

I am excited!

This has been a wonderful week :)

God has just been reminding me exactly why I'm even in the education field. Let me share with you... About a week or so ago I was having huge doubts about my major. Nothing seemed to be going right, and of course there were some battles in my head. You know, the "You'll never be good at it" kind of thoughts. I even considered changing my major... to communications! My basis for this decision was only because I would save money and graduate a semester early. (I know, but I was on the extreme of 'I hate school right now!') I don't know if it's wrong to have these thoughts sometimes, like when you're up really ate and you just want to be in bed... but I'm pretty positive it's wrong when it's all you think for about 2 days straight. School had gotten that hard. I was mainly doubting because I was not even enjoying my Literature class- the one class any English major should enjoy. I wasn't thinking of the fact that I wasn't putting nearly as much effort into this class as I could have. So that was last week. It was not fun at all. Well... this week, it's as if God was like, "Krista, what have I called you to do?!" Well, let me tell you what I know. I know that God has called me to work with children, big or small. I know that God has called me to do this in different settings. I also know that I have a huge imagination and I often get far too much ahead of myself.. with thoughts of, "I can go to seminary and be a children's minister, I can go work as a camp director, I can teach, I can teach and go to seminary...." My brain seems to think at a speed that is not healthy, because with these thoughts come a desire for it to happen right now. So I forget the present and it's dire effect on the future. Well, this week... God has been confirming to me that I am in the right major. On a test that I was hoping to make a B in, I earned a 91. In a class where I wasn't understanding anything, everything began making sense. In classes that used to bore me, God has used to ignite a fire of passion for what I am learning. God has reminded me that teaching in itself is it's own mission field, and has endless possibilities. I have even compared public schools to communist countries... and something about not being allowed to tell children about Jesus makes it even more exciting to me that I will (and I will) find ways to. I am going to purposely choose books that will remind children of Jesus and get my foot in the door. I am so excited about the future, but for the first time in a long time, I am excited also about the present. I am learning valuable techniques and life lessons. I am learning the importance of a career that I often forget. I am excited!

The writings of a single girl: The plain, don't feel sorry for me, truth.

The past few weeks have been another one of those weeks. For me, one of those weeks is the kind where you are just longing for some real companionship. Being single, I automatically pin this on the fact that I'm without a boyfriend. I have friends here that are true treasures in my life, but sometimes it just doesn't fill that hole.

Thinking about this (as I write), I think of a good section of Blue Like Jazz that I read last year. Despite the controversy or the popularity of that book, I read something in there that brought a smile to my heart. Donald Miller was talking to his newlywed friend, when he asked him how new married life was. His friend responded with quite the surprising answer, and replied with something along these lines: "It's wonderful, but it's not complete fulfillment. I love my wife, but I will never truly know her like she desires to be known, and she will never truly know me the way I desire to be known.... The only one that can truly know us is God." I don't know about you, but that is amazing to me.

I know people in my life care about me. I can't say that I don't sometimes wonder how different life would be if I had a boyfriend, a fiancee, or a husband. I can take joy in the fact that I have my Lord and that He is always accessible for me to talk to, to pour my heart out to, to cry with, to laugh with, to love.

It is when I am in these moments of longing for a(nother) companion that I realize I need to spend more time with my Lord. It is in these times when I say "I miss him," and I realize that that him is Him, my Father in Heaven. It is times like these that draw me back to Him.

smells good.

My perfume, that is.

That's really not what this post is about though ;)

I went out to eat with my good friend, Paige, this morning. I know her from church and she's pretty stinkin' cool (and by stinkin' I mean awesome)! We wanted to go to this small place called "Oldies Diner", but they are closed until April! That stinks, especially since their breakfast is only $2.99. We got over it real fast though and decided to go to I-HOP instead. I had the "Passport". 'Twas good. We talked about our lives and what's going on, and also about what God has been showing us lately. Then, Paige surprised me with a gift card to Goody's and LifeWay. She's too sweet. So, I endedup getting a sweater and some socks from Goody's. I'm waiting until the 31st to go to LifeWay because the book I want won't be here until then.

I'm going to babysit tonight, and tomorrow I will probably be in the library all afternoon catching up on my class work! :)

Back in the Routine

I am definitely one of those people that thrive off of a routine.... well, a spontaneous routine. A routine within a routine? I don't know... but I love having classes, and everything that works around them.

This morning I took my written screening test, well.. half of it at least. It wasn't as hard as my mind usually works that type of thing to be. Then, in Diverse Populations, we made groups of 4 for our multicultural breakfast. Our group ended up choosing Germany for our country. This should be exciting since I lived there for part of my childhood, and I worked at a German restaurant for a few months. I'm pretty sure I like most German food... even the Reuben sandwich.

After class, I was so hungry because I had been thinking about food, so I stopped by Burger King to pick up a Croissant, and left to go babysit. I hadn't seen the kids in 6 weeks, which is FOREVER to me. It's amazing what changes can occur in that time span. Anna is talking even more than before, and has mastered the art of jumping. It's quite amusing. Nathan is taller, still growing like a weed. I love those kids so much. The thought of them moving makes me want to cry. :( I still have a few more months with them.

Afterwards, I rushed back to the apartment to get whatever I needed to do done for room check. I have an amazing roommate. She cooked dinner and everything. :) Then I rushed off to my Linguistics class, which is proving to be even more interesting than I thought. I have a lot of vocabulary to learn though... my study skills are going to be tested even more this semester.

So, anyways- today was a much better day than the previous ones. God has been hinting to me that He has it under control, and I really need to trust Him, even in the practical things, like a car. He clearly revealed to me that He has me in His hands.

Oh, and on a totally different note:
Please pray for me as I work up the courage to tell my dad that I want to go to Guatemala next Spring Break. There's a great opportunity for me next year, and I really want to go. I'd be working in the orphanages with the Guatemalan children, sharing the love of Christ to kids that don't feel like they matter to anyone.

Oh, 2007!

So every time I get to the end and beginning of a year, I tend to think about things. Things like what changes will occur, who I am/want to become, things I KNOW will happen (or at least am 98% sure of) and things I want to happen.

Here's what's made the list:

Changes that will occur/things I KNOW will happen...
1. New roommate and new apartment- I am excited about this because it's always fun to get to know another person and share those special times that only roomies usually share, such as cooking, laughing late in the night after late night talks, a drive off campus just cause you need it, etc. The new apartment will be fun because it's always fun to decorate somethings in a unique way! :)

2. Upper level English Classes- I'm going to read... a LOT! I'm excited. I know this won't always be the case when I'm up until 3 studying, but hey- it's the experience that is always fun to look back on. I get to learn, and what a privilege that is!

3. Taking summer school in SA- Wow.... I'm not too sure about this one but it has to happen. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time!

4. Finding a summer job in SA- I'm looking at things from retail all the way to working at a church again. We shall see what happens!

5. My dad coming home!! - He'll be on his 2 week leave in March, and home for good near the beginning of September. I am absolutely excited about this!!!

6. I'm sure there are other things I can't think of at the moment....

Who I am/Want to become...
Right now I am at a point in my life where I am realizing a lot of things about myself. I am a Christian that desires a deeper relationship with the Lord. I want to become so strong in my walk with Him, I want to memorize scripture more, I want to love Him and others more. I want to be a woman of God that, God willing, a godly man will be glad to call his wife one day. I want to shine more for my King. I want to be confident in the woman that He has created me to be.


This I want to happen...
I want to make better grades. I've been falling into the "more B's than A's" category lately... I want Children's Ministry to really be a place where the kids can learn about the Lord and have fun. I want the playground project for Children's Ministry to be successful. I want to develop deeper friendships.

I want a lot, right? I pray that the Lord's hand will be over all of these areas in my life. I pray that I will turn to Him during the good and hard times of this year. I pray that I will be a brighter light for Him. I pray that 2007 presents a time of growth for you as well!

Oh, and good for you for reading through all of this. Love y'all!

God offers hope through everything :)

Isn't that just the most wonderful thing ever? I am so thankful that our God can be seen through everything. He is my strength.

Here are some updates:

After many prayers and wondering. my dog Edith is recovering. For those who missed the story, she only has one eye, and got a corneal ulcer in her remaining eye, meaning there was a scratch on the cornea. She started looking really bad a couple of days after her surgery, and so we had to take her to the vet. He said he was "cautiously optimisitc", which left us a tad bit worried. But with a TON of eye drops and pills every day, she is recovering. God is taking care of us, because if this would've happened any earlier before I came home, it would be so hard for my mom to do. She needs 2-3 people to give her those eye drops.

Christmas- We are expecting a good Christmas despite my dad being gone. Our family is very suppostive, and we're going to have a huge meal and lots of time together. I have a very interesting family, which always makes it fun!

Reading-
Psalms and Romans :)
Disciplines of a Godly Woman (God is teaching me a lot about areas of my life that need changing)

I am enjoying the break so far! :)

Finals week! (amongst other things)

You heard it right- it's finals week here at UMHB!

I had my first of foru today, and I daresay it was pretty easy! I am always happy when I know the information. :) Tomorrow will be filled with hours of studying as I have 2 finals on Saturday. I know... Saturday. All will be well after that as I have one left on Monday! We shall see how it all turns out...

I will officially be a JUNIOR after this week and I am SO excited! :) Next semester will be full of changes, which is fun! I am switching apartments. Right now, I live in a four person apartment, and my new apartment will be for 2 people. While it is a bit smaller, I'm excited about the coziness of it all! :) I am excited about slowly buying things to decorate for it :) My new roommate Jenn is way fun. I think there will be much laughter to take place in the new apartment. :)

I will also be taking some upper-level English courses, which is exciting. I will be taking General Linguistics and American Literature. This is so exciting because I have been waiting to take some "real classes" that are actually required for my major, as opposed to my basics.

My plans for Christmas break are to spend some quality time with my mom and try to be a good daughter :) I also desire to get some good reading in. Yesterday I bought "Disciplines of a Godly Woman" by Barbara Hughes. The first chapter is very well-written and has many good points in it. I'm looking forward to having time to get in the type of reading where I can soak up the words from the pages and not be rushed.

I hope everyone is doing wonderful!!

These are my ramblings :)

Right now I am at my job where I should be tutoring students with English. Not one person has come in since 7 p.m. and so I sit here thinking of what I can blog about. Hmmm...

Well, I don't know what I want to do when I graduate. I'm supposed to preview at Truett in February to see if I am at all interested in seminary. Sometimes I feel inadequate with that type of thing. Is it weird that I don't feel that way about graduate school? I don't know where I would o if I attended graduate school, but it just seems like the easy way out. People always say to do what will make you happy, and I believe that that is true. I know that Truett sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but I know that I need to preview it before I make up my mind. It sounds so great that those thoughts creep in, saying "You, seminary? Forget it." And that's not the only doubt... what about finally getting on my own 2 feet, with a "real" job? I am excited about finding my place after graduation. It's crazy that it's not that far away, and soon my whole entire adult life will take place. The future used to be something I looked forward to; is it normal to be a little (or a lot) scared? I just needto pray about it. I know that actually going to the preview will help, too. These are my thoughts on my future though. I also don't know where I want to live. I thought I would like San Antonio, but I kind of want to get away from familiarity and explore a little. Somewhere country, with a little bit of city. A pretty view, and an easy trip to the store.... Plus you never know where God will place you... I don't see myself falling in love and getting married anytime soon. As much as I long for a relationship and all... I am not really wanting it right now. I kind of like being independent, doign thigns on my own. Maybe I am selfish with my time? Who knows... But like I said, God has a plan, and it is by far much better (and more secure) than my own. I couldn't be more thankful.

So yeah, these are my ramblings :)

Happy Feet :)

This movie made me laugh because it's a bunch of penguins dancing; if a penguin can dance, so can I!! :) Haha!

I know that I have really needed the Thanksgiving break. It has provided a lot of time to rest and ponder life a little bit. I was thinking about how I get so upset with myself because I am never satisfied. This has been the case mainly because I haven't been satisfied with where I'm at with the Lord, but I was thinking about it, and isn't that a good thing? The fact that I am not satisfied always provides room for seeking Him more. What are your thoughts? How could discontentment play a part in this? When I think of being discontent, I think of circumstances, not the Lord.

Anyways, those are my ramblings.

Here's a random thought- I don't know if San Antonio is where I want to live or not when I graduate.... hmmm. Thank God for having more secure plans than I do! :)

Feel what You feel, Love what You love, go where You go, that's what we want...

Okay. There is something you need to know. Something I need to know. Something we all need to know.

So, being on Revival Steering Committee and MLC, and involved in my local church.. you'd think I would be just fine and dandy with God, right? Well, I think God might just be trying to tell me something right now....

I cried tonight because I realized I was completely wrong, and that I didn't have any ounce of goodness in me. I am trying to walk alone. I am trying to deal with my family being apart, with the war that caused that... trying to deal with friendships that have gone sour, trying to deal with the sin in my life on my own, as if I had the power to fix any of it. It's as if I'm trying to hold all of this in with my hands that are made of ice, and that they're just melting now. It's like God's hands of steel are right in front of me, and I haven't done a thing about it because for some reason I have felt that the ice would never melt or break. It's as if I'm all wrong... because I am.

I haven't kept Christ as the center of my life. I have told myself that I have, and have made it all about me (my decisions, my own doings) in the process. After telling your something that is false repeatedly, you begin to believe it, and then it ends up hitting you all at once.

And then sometimes I think I'm just being an emotional girl, but this stuff matters. It matters that I haven't been taking this seriously, the fact that God controls this, not me, and it would all be fine if I just let Him.

Pray that the dry bones would have life breathed into them. And let me know if you need prayer as well. Seriously. Thanks.

From Frazzled to Fabulous :)

So, I'm in what I now call the "bumps" in my college semester. To all of you college students and college alumni... you know what I am talking about. You're having this wonderful semester, you can actually stay up late because you're not doing homework, and then *WAM!* it hits you. You're going so fast that you didn't even notice the huge bump in the road (Bump, meaning the week in your planner that is completely FULL!)

This "bump" week for me is this week, and next week. I have 2 big exams (the kind that determine whether or not you have an A or a B) and a book to read by Friday, plus the homework. Then, next week, I have a SPANISH test, which is an event in itself, because when you have a Spanish test, you have a Spanish workbook, notebook, and biblical commentary to do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a college student, but sometimes you forget what college STUDENT means outside of latenight walks and talks, runs, crazy friends, learning how to dance, ministries, friendships, etc.

I know I will be fine though. The Lord will sustain me throughout this week. He keeps having to grab me and say "Stop panicking, I am here." Today I told the kids at Children's Ministry about Psalm 46, the one that has "Be still and know that I am God". I have to constantly do that. I know that in the grand scheme of things, tests and grades don't really matter, just as long as you pass and get a degree, and even then it's not that big of a deal, in the grand scheme of things... but I want to excel in these things to give all the glory to Him. I have to depend on Him, or I will fail.

Tomorrow morning is our first Revival meeting, bright and early at 7 AM! I'm actually excited. Getting up early will motivate me to study in the time I would be asleep. :)

This all ties together, but I went to Canyon Creek's annual college retreat this weekend, Autumn Runaway. We split up guys and girls, and had a wonderful girl's night :) Our whole retreat was about going from "frazzled to fabulous". It was a very much needed reminder that I can still do things for God and not get stressed out. It's all about depending on Him and not trying to depend on myself, even to get up on time. He's been motivating me to get up :) This semester, I have been getting up 10 minutes before class. CRAZY! Talk about frazzled!! I was constantly in a rush. The past week 1/2, I have been getting up way before my classes, I haven't been late, and I've felt good about it.

I love our King. I'm glad to be His. I'm glad that I can rest in Him, even through the "bumps" of college! (And I hear they don't end after that! Gotta keep resting in Him :)

Consistently learning this lesson...

So, yeah. I'm at the end ofm y day and I realize that I haven't been doing what I should. I haven't been depending on God. I haven't been turning my thoughts to Him in ALL that I do. It's become a choice of what I am to give to Him.

For everyone out there that believs the contrary... I struggle with this. I struggle with telling God to get my past something that I KNOW is wrong, such as a hateful thought towards someone/thing. I tend to not ask Him to put me in my place and remind me that it's NOT about the way I feel. It's just about giving Him the glory, in all situations. Where am I at? Well, I am at a place where I know I can conquer daily struggles. When a class doesn't go my way, I get upset with the whole class, not even considering my part in the issue. This is such wrong behavior. I need to set a higher standard for myself. He has conquered the world, and through Him I obtain strength! Right? YES! Now live it, Krista.

Thanks for reading.
On THE journey to live for Him,
Krista Michelle

My Testimony

So, I had to write my testimony for something that I am applying for... I figured it'd be a fun post!

Written Testimony-Krista Michelle


Looking back on my childhood, I remember sitting in the backseat of my parent’s car, looking out the window at everything that was passing by and wondering what it would be like if “nothing” existed. I couldn’t grasp the thought of “nothing” ever existing, and that is when I began to wonder about how everything in the world came about… Did it just appear one day? No. Well who put it here? It had to have been someone…
About 5 years later, my grandma, who was a devout Catholic, lived with my parents and me, and she slept in my room. Every night she would read her Bible and pray prayers. I became very inquisitive about this, because I knew what she was doing had some sort of purpose; she was so devout in this every day. I began to ask her many questions, but I still really didn’t understand anything about God and who He is. My perspective of God at the time was only as an imaginary friend, and I saw “only” because I had many imaginary friends (a completely different story). I used to push the chair out for Jesus at the dinner table, and I very much simply imitated my grandma- I thought that by having the necklace (the rosary) the my grandma did, that somehow I was doing something right, while still having no idea what I was running towards.
In middle school, my best friend Debbie invited me to her church, but I never accepted the offer because I was too scared that I wouldn’t be allowed to because it was in the late evening. It wasn’t until my freshman year of high school, when my friend Kristen invited me to her youth group that my life tremendously changed. I accepted, and when I arrived, I was greeted by a loud band, a bunch of people hanging out in a living room, and the youth minister, Garfield. After a warm welcome, he gladly did a back flip, and I couldn’t believe that we were actually laughing and having fun. I really had no idea what to expect. Well, after that, we had bible study, and I kept hearing about the “good news” and the “gospel”, and I just sat there pretending like I knew what everyone was referring to. I eventually learned more about it from Garfield and his wife, Stephanie, and that is when I learned about Jesus, and why I always saw him on a cross in pictures. I finally knew about His purpose, that He came to die for us, and that He loved me, and He wanted me to devote my life to Him. I finally realized that God is more than just a god that people pray to, but a God that actually loves us, by giving His Son for us, and by giving us the gift of eternal life through His Son. I finally understood that I could have a relationship with Him, and that He would change my life.
My salvation was very gradual- but altogether moving. I began to pray, and truly ask God to come into my life. My mom bought me a Bible, and I would eagerly go home to read it, to see what God was all about. I was later baptized on April 15th, 2001. That event is something I will never forget. God surrounded me, telling me that He loved me. I felt weightless, without a worry in the world. Ever since my salvation, I have had an inner joy that reaches to all the depths of my soul; this joy is indescribable. I still have daily struggles in my goal to daily serve Him, but He keeps reminding me that my satisfaction can only be found in Him.