These are my ramblings :)

Right now I am at my job where I should be tutoring students with English. Not one person has come in since 7 p.m. and so I sit here thinking of what I can blog about. Hmmm...

Well, I don't know what I want to do when I graduate. I'm supposed to preview at Truett in February to see if I am at all interested in seminary. Sometimes I feel inadequate with that type of thing. Is it weird that I don't feel that way about graduate school? I don't know where I would o if I attended graduate school, but it just seems like the easy way out. People always say to do what will make you happy, and I believe that that is true. I know that Truett sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but I know that I need to preview it before I make up my mind. It sounds so great that those thoughts creep in, saying "You, seminary? Forget it." And that's not the only doubt... what about finally getting on my own 2 feet, with a "real" job? I am excited about finding my place after graduation. It's crazy that it's not that far away, and soon my whole entire adult life will take place. The future used to be something I looked forward to; is it normal to be a little (or a lot) scared? I just needto pray about it. I know that actually going to the preview will help, too. These are my thoughts on my future though. I also don't know where I want to live. I thought I would like San Antonio, but I kind of want to get away from familiarity and explore a little. Somewhere country, with a little bit of city. A pretty view, and an easy trip to the store.... Plus you never know where God will place you... I don't see myself falling in love and getting married anytime soon. As much as I long for a relationship and all... I am not really wanting it right now. I kind of like being independent, doign thigns on my own. Maybe I am selfish with my time? Who knows... But like I said, God has a plan, and it is by far much better (and more secure) than my own. I couldn't be more thankful.

So yeah, these are my ramblings :)

Check!

I finished the research paper I have been putting off for the past month! It only took me 4 hours- that's like record time. Thank goodness for online journals and encyclopedias that my parents have had since I was a toddler! *breath of fresh air!*

There's nothing really new with me right now. I'm wondering what books I should read for the Christmas break. Does anyone have any good suggestions? I want to order them before December 13th, which is destined to be the first day I dive into a good read!

Happy Feet :)

This movie made me laugh because it's a bunch of penguins dancing; if a penguin can dance, so can I!! :) Haha!

I know that I have really needed the Thanksgiving break. It has provided a lot of time to rest and ponder life a little bit. I was thinking about how I get so upset with myself because I am never satisfied. This has been the case mainly because I haven't been satisfied with where I'm at with the Lord, but I was thinking about it, and isn't that a good thing? The fact that I am not satisfied always provides room for seeking Him more. What are your thoughts? How could discontentment play a part in this? When I think of being discontent, I think of circumstances, not the Lord.

Anyways, those are my ramblings.

Here's a random thought- I don't know if San Antonio is where I want to live or not when I graduate.... hmmm. Thank God for having more secure plans than I do! :)

On the road again....

That's right! Only one more meeting and two more classes a way until I'm on the road again!

San Antonio, here I come!!

Dancing makes me happy, too...

I wasn't going to go dancing tonight for a number of reasons, but I am so glad I did. I am getting better and better. Sooo exciting. I think my favoite is the triple two step, waltz, and two step progressive.

This is a picture of the steps to the waltz... it is harder than it looks to think about all that and talk at the same time. Or maybe I'm just weird... :)

If you are easily bored on Friday nights, you should join me one day. It is a blast and the teachers are sooo helpful.

Feel what You feel, Love what You love, go where You go, that's what we want...

Okay. There is something you need to know. Something I need to know. Something we all need to know.

So, being on Revival Steering Committee and MLC, and involved in my local church.. you'd think I would be just fine and dandy with God, right? Well, I think God might just be trying to tell me something right now....

I cried tonight because I realized I was completely wrong, and that I didn't have any ounce of goodness in me. I am trying to walk alone. I am trying to deal with my family being apart, with the war that caused that... trying to deal with friendships that have gone sour, trying to deal with the sin in my life on my own, as if I had the power to fix any of it. It's as if I'm trying to hold all of this in with my hands that are made of ice, and that they're just melting now. It's like God's hands of steel are right in front of me, and I haven't done a thing about it because for some reason I have felt that the ice would never melt or break. It's as if I'm all wrong... because I am.

I haven't kept Christ as the center of my life. I have told myself that I have, and have made it all about me (my decisions, my own doings) in the process. After telling your something that is false repeatedly, you begin to believe it, and then it ends up hitting you all at once.

And then sometimes I think I'm just being an emotional girl, but this stuff matters. It matters that I haven't been taking this seriously, the fact that God controls this, not me, and it would all be fine if I just let Him.

Pray that the dry bones would have life breathed into them. And let me know if you need prayer as well. Seriously. Thanks.

Soooo....

I wish I had something witty to say :)

Well, things are going really good. I am taking my last test before finals in exactly 46 minutes, and I am not worried about it :) I love that feeling. The test is in Classroom Technology (which is a very easy class). I honestly believe that they should no longer have this course as a required class because our generation typically knows a TON about computers. I mean, if you didn't- you're in the minority.

I bought these really cute brown shoes (I never buy shoes, because apparently flip flops don't count) and they gave me the worst blisters. Does anyone know what to do with really cute shoes that give you blisters? I'm thinking of putting some sort of cushion on the part that gives me blisters, but I didn't know if that was safe or not. Any suggestions? Maybe I'll google it.

Well, I'd best go study for that test :)

November! Here's what's new...

I haven't written in a while, and I figured it was time for an update :) We're in November! Isn't it crazy?

Anyways, nothing too interesting has happened in my life lately- but I have had some amazing conversations with some really great friends that have been a blessing in my life this past semester. Who knows how much can change in such a small amount of time? God knows exactly what you need to learn from, teach, or just to encourage and be encouraged. I don't want to brag about these wonderful women of God in my life, but they have been so sweet.

I know that I am not an introverted person, but I am definitely not an extrovert. I'm one of those odd balls that's right in the middle, and I wouldn't like it any other way. I really enjoy investing time into a few friendships; I am not one to scatter myself thin with my friends. Don't get me wrong, I have many "friends", but I am referring to the few that you have in life that you can talk to for hours.

Anyways, now that I've started writing, there's a lot just waiting to go on the screen. I think I'll save it for another post....