Oh Bee-ly...

My friend Emily always says "Oh Billy...". She said that when she went to China this past summer, one of the women asked "What is 'Oh Bee-ly'? Is this an American thing?" and Emily replied, "No, it's an Emily thing." It makes me laugh!

Well, I have been doing the usual thing around here. Right now school consists of reading a book about a man named Isaac Tichenor and his influence on the New South. It's actually kind of boring... I noticed I only like history when it isn't in the U.S. Is that weird? I'm on page 103 now, of 203. Doing pretty good! The essay is due Wednesday morning... I have to persevere!

2 weeks until Spring Break. I'm happy!

Life is so fragile

Kristi Billington went to be with the Lord this morning at 10:05 a.m. Please be in prayer for her family, her best friend Holly who was driving at the time of the wreck, and our campus at this time.

Kristi Billington
December 12, 1986 - February 24, 2006

Believe Him....

I was at AWANAs last night, and I saw a binder in the sanctuary and it said "Believe in God", and I thought to myself, "Believe God, not just believe in Him". Lately I have been struggling with trusting God. It's way too easy for me to say that I trust Him, that I know He has things under control, but my heart hasn't truly done so. Last night at Cool Bean, I was talking about this with Lauren, and how I've come to realize this because of the situation with my dad leaving. I haven't been trusting in God and believing Him when he says he doesn't give us more than we can handle and that he has a plan to prosper us, not to harm us! It's just a thought...

I have been stressing all week about a test I was going to have on Tuesday, but our teacher has postponed it for atleast one more week, which I am so thankful for. The test will be over Galatians and 1 & 2 Thessalonians. This is a ton to cover. I will make good use of that extra week.

Please be in prayer for Kristi Billington. She was in a horrible car accident on Saturday night, and is now in critical condition in ICU. The doctors pretty much say there is nothing else they can do, and it will be a miracle if she survives. Please pray for her family, and her best friend, Holly, who was driving the car. Please pray for her friends are campus also, the whole campus has been shook up by it.

Well....

It's pretty late. I'm staying up tonight because I don't feel a bit tired, which is a rare thing. I got a third of my notecards down for Dr.Martin's class. It took me 3 hours, so I need to get in 6 hours tomorrow.

Tonight has been good. At our MLC meeting tonight, we talked about compassion, encouragement, and challenges. For me, it was very moving, because I was having an inner conflict during the whole thing, and I think that I am horrible at not letting anyone know. I don't like to tell everything about my life to 30 people, but tonight I felt the need to. I didn't. Could this be pride? I have no idea, but I should've. I've been having a really hard time lately dealing with my emotions. I'm serious. It all has to do with my dad's deployment. When I first found out about it, I was a wreck. Anything made me cry, and I let it. But now, I put up a wall against my emotions. Anytime I think about it or feel like I'm going to cry, I force myself not to. I don't like the way this feels, but I don't like to cry all the time either. I don't like blocking myself off from it, because all that is is numbing myself to feel. I'm not very content in this moment, because either way, it still bothers me. It still bothers me that he is leaving and that I won't be able to call him whenever. My dad is my friend, pretty much the only male in my life, which is not a bad thing, but when he is gone for over a year with very little communication, it feels like he is gone, and the fear of him being gone for the rest of my life is terrifying. The whole thing gets me upset, and all I truly desire is to be content and full assured that God will take care of me. I know He will, but I think not knowing the results is so hard, and that is just proof that I am not trusting that no matter what happens, God's got it all sorted out. I want to have a positive attitude and not start crying, or force myself not to, when someone asks about it. I want to be real and not have to block off what I truly feel. I started doing this because I don't want everyone knowing about it. I only tell a select few people because I am comfortable with them. I know that God has a plan. I hated it when my dad left in High School and even got mad at God. I don't want to do that this time. I want to be confident in Him and trusting. I think my biggest fear is that the one person I can talk to the easiest will be gone, and might even be gone forever. That is so hard to grasp and not question. It is so hard. I just want to go off to my own little corner of the world and express my pain by screaming, crying, and eventually smiling because God understands all of what I'm feeling. That's all.

Spring Break, Spring Break, where for art thou Spring Break?

Wow. You ever get that feeling when you look at your planner late and realize "Oh man. There's a ton of stuff to do in one week."? I did that last night. I have to read a 200 page book and write an essay on it by next Monday, and then I have this big test in Dr.Martin's class on Tuesday. The test is by far, more important. I only have 2 exams in there. ahhh! I can't worry, I can't worry.... It will be fine. 3 weeks until Spring Break!

So.... I got a new summer job. I haven't written it down yet because it hasn't really hit me that it's real yet. Maybe if I write it, it will. I'm going to be the Children's Ministry Intern here at my church in Temple. I totally had my mind set on Camp Buckner again, but God had another plan! This is definitely going to be a time of growth as I have never done something like this before, and might even be doing this when I graduate! My job this summer consists of:
1. Help in planning VBS.
2. Leading a weekly Bible Study for a group of children.
3. Plan different events for younger and older kids. (A trip to the zoo, the museum, etc.)
4. Help out with the Children's Choir.
5. Spend a week at camp with the kids.
6. Lead a Children's Ministry at the apartments.

I start late May-early June. I have a whole month off to spend with my mom. I will be living here with one of the ministers and their family or my adopted family from last year. Nothing is set in stone yet, but God will provide. I will also be babysitting here for the same family, which is cool because I won't miss out on anything. I'm super excited, but it wasn't until last week when I started to think of camp and how much I'll miss it, but it's okay. God has a plan and a reason for it all and I'm looking forward to getting to know the kids more! That is some pretty major news. God is amazing :)

Well, I had best get going to study some for all my stuff and read a bit, too.

~Krista

P.S.

Steph, not too sure about cutting my hair, you're right, boys do like long hair. Haha... just joking. I'm not sure what I'll do yet. It's severely damaged... so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the stylist says.

Changing...

So I changed the template again. I like the blues in this one.

The roads are still icy and I will decide for sure whether or not I leave for home in the morning.

I sat here tonight. Rachel had gone home because she is sick, and all my other roomates were here in their rooms. Only, tonight I felt alone for some reason. I was thinking to myself, "I have no one to talk to." and then my phone rang. I love how God takes care of me sometimes, because Jennifer called and it was so nice to talk to her. She said she was thinking of me and decided to call. Don't you love it when God plans things to the minute?

Okay, I'd better get to bed. I have lots to do tomorrow.

A Cold Day!

Wow it is cold outside! I was planning on going shopping today for a cute skirt, but golly... It is freezing, and from what I hear, the roads are very slick, too. So, instead of doing those things, I've decided I want to stay inside, watch movies, read books, drink hot chocolate, and all the things you would do on a cold day. :) That's the upside o being inside.

School has been going great so far. I have become more motivated, and I think it's because of my first 2 exams. I needed to prepare for them, and so in doing so, I was kind of reminded of how fun it can be sometimes. That might sound really weird for me to say, but there's something about studying that is fun, and plus it makes me feel like I'm doing my job as a college student. I've looked forward to college for a while now, and to actually be here is a huge blessing.

Okay, just to throw in a random subject, I have finally decided on cutting my hair. I want to cut it right at my shoulders with a flip out kind of style, only with a face frame. I'll incorporate the "bangs" I have into that somehow... Back in October I got a really bad haircut, and I have uneven bangs now. But there's nothing my hair stylist back home can't conquer! So when I come home for Spring Break that's what I'm going to do. Get a haircut! It's so far away, but I'll post pictures when I get it.

Okay, off to be productive around the dorm!

All you have is who you are...

So, for some reason, these lyrics have been on my mind tonight. It's a song called Airplane, by Bethany Dillon.



"Mountain tops peak through
This is where I see you
I've never seen a clearer blue
This is where I see you

Leave behind your busy life
All you have is who you are
Space like this is hard to find
So breathe it in
Someone will say, "Where are you headed?"
And it might be the first time
You ever thought about it"

I think the reason these lyrics are in my mind is because I feel the need to just get away. I love the life God has given me but I seriously want to go somewhere, preferably outside, where I can sit, enjoy God's creation, and talk to Him. Let me tell you a story about my day...

I woke up extremely tired this morning and dreaded the thought of this day. (I know, what a thought to have..) I hate feeling this way, and I try to overcome it, but when I can't, I love it when God reminds me... breathe in and look around. Look where you are. I have been a bad leader and didn't prepare my lesson for Children's Ministry ahead of time because I was sooo busy all week. I know this is bad, but after today, it was a god thing. So, I got home from classes today and started looking for something I could teach on. No prayer, no nothing. Well, my Bible, and a couple of coloring sheets, but not what should've been. Well, I finally decided upon reading from my Bible Mark 12:28-34.

12:28
Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, "Which is the first commandment of all?"
12:29
Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
12:30
And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment.
12:31
And the second, like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."
12:32
So the scribe said to Him, "Well said, Teacher. You have spoken the truth, for there is one God, and there is no other but He.
12:33
And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices."
12:34
Now when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, He said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." But after that no one dared question Him.

I was reading this to the kids, and the words flowed from my mouth, the kids were listening, and really listening and God spoke to me through these words as I was reading them, and the kids started asking questions, and it was just a big reminder that no matter how busy I am, it is still my responsibilty in obedience and love to truly love God with everything in me, and that going to class, being diligent, leading a ministry, going to meetings, meeting my comittments, none of that will ever fulfill me like my Abba. All of these things are important, but "whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." I picture Him, holding out His arms to me, saying "Calm down, come to me, and rest." and I'm too frantic and busy to even hear Him! Our God is an aweosome God, and I am so glad He is our God! I love that He reminds me of this constantly, because even after He shows me this, I still go on in my ways, and yet He taps me on my shoulder and says.. "Hey, just rest in my arms. I am here, and my love will never grow cold." No matter what happens in life, He is there.

So, these lyrics are true, all we have is who we are, and I am a daughter of our Father, and I can't forget that. I can't forget that in that I am to love Him and remain obedient, not get so caught up in temporary things.

Not OUR daughter...

So I finally figured out why I don't have a valentine. I know, I know, how do you figure this out? But I have written proof my friends. My parents sent me this card and it has an illustration of them blocking cupid from me saying, "Not our daughter you little flying freak!!" So, there ya have it. My parent's are just trying to protect me from cupid's sharp arrow! Haha juuuust kidding. Valentine's Day was good. I didn't sit around and feel sorry for myself. I actually stayed quite busy, and my "brothers" from my adopted family stopped by and gave me 2 yellow roses. A 3 year old and 7 year old gave me my first flowers ever (besides my parents). I thought it was the cutest thing ever! I just learned today that yellow rose means friendship! I love having friends. :)

Last night at one of my meetings, we were asking our BSM director, Shawn, all about her life. It was great! Someone ended up asking her about her singleness and she named everything I LOVE about being single. Seriously. For example, because of my singleness I am free to write my own calendar. I don't have to correlate my life with anyone else's. It's great. I can choose what "crazy things" I wish to do during my summers. It's awesome. Sometimes at the end of my day I wonder how in the world I could ever have a relationship right now. Seriously, I'm a very busy bee. But yes, I will stop because I have a lot more to say outside of this!

I was talking to Cat today and we were discussing the Old Testament. I was just telling her how lately I have felt convicted for not knowing a lot about the Old Testament and kind of skipping over it as if it had nothing good to say. Lately, we have been reading through Samuel together (which is a good illustration of the power of God) and it has been amazing. It's different from the New Testament and a little harder to understand, but I love it. I think I'm going to try to get through the Old Testament more now, because it is so cool to read and learn about what different things mean! A good example would be 1 Samuel 5. (Read it. You know you want to.)

Okay well I'm making dinner tonight so I'm going to go! I hope everyone has a blessed day!! :)

Valentine's Day... woo.

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. I am glad to say that while I have no "Valentine", my parents love me so much that they are sending me a gift. They are simply amazing and know exactly when I need to feel extra-special! I haven't gotten it yet, so I'm anxiously waiting for it. I wonder what it is.... :) I hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day! (And I do know of one boy who will tell me he loves me tomorrow... Who other than Nathan?- the best 3 year old boy in the world!)

P.S.
Baptist History tried to defeat me, and it failed. Muhaha...

So, I'm here...

I've been studying (with a joyful attitude) non-stop since Friday afternoon. I have a Baptist History test this Friday (my first one!) and there is a ton of information to know. All the way from the Luther to The Early Stuart Era. I'm happy to say that I'm confident I would pass if I took the test right now, but if you know me, I like to make A's, no matter what. So, we'll see how this goes. Sad thing is, I also have a Spanish test tomorrow, which I have paid NO attention to. So, I promise, I will start studying that as soon as I finish blogging. (Can you feel the procrastination?) Actually, studying Baptist History is interesting. It brings up a lot of questions and debates in class. One thing our professor, Dr.Holcomb, told us was this, "You might be smart, but it doesn't mean you're not wrong." I loved that!

Anyways, I'd better go study....

Song of Solomon Bible Study

So, this week has been good. A test got moved to next week and that's good because it gives me more time to study. I must admit, somtimes I feel like a complete idiot when it comes to Baptist History. I guess I have a weird way of thinking because whatever I say in that class, I am usually wrong. I will have to start keeping my mouth shut, which for me, isn't very healthy. I love to ask questions- even if they are wrong! How else do you learn? I just hate feeling like an idiot, and I have never felt like more of an idiot until this week.

Last night at FOCUS, our school's weekly Bible Study, we read more in the Song of Solomon. I have never been to a study on the Song of Solomon, this is the first! It is very interesting, shocking, and sometimes plain funny! Last night held a lot of laughs. We read through 3:6-5:1. The wedding night. I remember in High School Enlgish our teacher pretty much told us that book was all about sex, and nothing else. Um... no? I mean, it's a beautiful picture of two lovers speaking to eachother gently, and being honest with one another. One thing Chase pointed out is how Solomon talked to her: "Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead." -4:1 This is just an example, but wow, Solomon was complimenting his bride, and telling her gently, how beautiful she was. It's not like today, where beautiful has been replaced with "hot" or whatever.. Solomon's words weren't demeaning. Many examples of this would be on television, and even in some couples I know. The television is just an example to children who will one day be in relationships. It was a really good study, and I'm excited about the rest of the summer!

Okay, I'm gonna get ready for Children's Ministry :)

A God that comforts...

The Lord is good. He brings comfort to my heart through the people I love, in the midst of trials. He knows what hurts my heart, and picks me up again. He holds me in His arms and rocks me to sleep, wiping my tears away. I can't tell you how good He is, because it is beyond what I can say. He is giving me a hunger that I never want to leave me. He has blessed me through many things in my life, through trials and through joyful times. Our God is definitely an Awesome God. And I love Him.

He has comforted my aching heart today.

Cleanaholic - Me??

So, while attempting to get a lot of homework done today, I got a lot of cleaning done, instead. Now if you know me, you know that my home is (my real home) very clean, mainly because of my mom. Oh have I learned a lot from my mom. Either that, or I really didn't want to do homework. So, I'm in the middle of my Spanish workbook, when I suddenly have to use the restroom. So I go inside the bathroom and I just started cleaning! Wow, mom didn't even have to tell me to do it. Room check isn't even this week! So why am I motivated to clean, but not to study? I seriously need to get back into the swing of things. Isn't it funny that when you know you need to do something, but you really don't want to. It makes all the difference when you're doing something you actually want to do, but lately... That hasn't been the case. :(

I love my job!

I just got a raise last night. All the way from 6 to 7 dollars an hour for babysitting. That is a big difference! If you can't tell, I had no problem with that!

So I've come pretty far when it comes to crying babies. I used to panic and take offense quite easily, and even thought I'd be a horrible mother! But, alas, I have learned not to panic, and to try to figure out what's wrong. After all, babies are known to cry, no?

Last night, I was putting Anna down, and she is usually really good about that and falls right to sleep. Well, as I was changing her diaper before she went to bed last night, she started crying, and throwing things (she usually stops crying when you give her something to play with). So, I took her back out to the living room and gave her some juice to drink and she was fine. I let her look at the Teletubbies a little longer on the television, and put her down, and she was fine. You just have to find what she wants. She's really a great baby.

Nathan was good last night, too! When I came inside yesterday, he was eating dinner and I sat with him and his mom, and he turns to me and says, "I love you!" Yeah, that made my day! It was the cutest thing and it made me so happy. The rest of the night he watched Teletubbies while dressed as Po from Teletubbies. It was hilarious :)

So, I love my job.

Today I'm doing laundry and catching up on some homework. Here's to aiming for motivation!

Long week

Wo, I have ad a very long week. I think I might go nap it off. I'm babysitting tonight. That will be fun. It was a spontaneous thing for the couple, they siad they just wanted to go out to dinner. I think that is sooo cute!

So, if ya'll (you that read this) could please pray for me, that'd be great. I have a major decision to make within the next week regarding my summer job. I really had my mind set on camp, but something else has come into the picture. I don't want to say what that is unless I take the job. But it would be a really REALLY good job!

Okay, nap tiiiime.

Power Outage

So, after a great night at AWANAs, I come back to my dorm, call my parents in my closet AKA phone booth, and then the lights begin to flicker. It had been storming since AWANAs began, and I knew what was coming next. I'd say we had about 40 minutes or so of no power, and it was pretty cool! That's never happened at school, and with lack of anything else to do, we all went out in the hallway and talked at the top of the stairs. The light that was powered by the generators was in there, and it was neat to hang out with my roomies. We need to do that more.

So, one of my professors, Dr.Martin, is very sick. He hasn't been coming to class all week. I feel really bad for him because he's one of these teachers that puts so much into his lessons (He teaches New Testament, The Early Pauline Epistles, Greek, and probably more) and so he probably is upset that he'll be behind on them now. From what I hear, he has a reputation of NEVER missing class.

Anyways. Things are going good. Today is Children's Ministry, and I'm a little worrried about it only because Shawn told me today that a ton of people are coming from FYC. I really love volunteers, but wow- I'm not used to it! I'm sure it will be great, though.

:)

Charter Day

Today was Charter Day at UMHB (and I think Baylor, too). We had alumni from the class of 1929 speak today. They were so cute! They had actually witnessed the burning of Luther Memorial. All we have left now are the ruins which is a big spot on campus for major events. It was neat to see all that happened. They also laid flowers out at Judge Baylor's grave. I thought it was kind of creepy at first that we had his body casually placed in the middle of campus, but now it's some pretty neat history.

Tonight at AWANAs is Great Affliction night. We get to wear fake injuries. What's mine, you ask? I will be wrapping my head with toilet paper. It will look like a head injury! I would do something really gory, but the kids might get scared, so I shall stick to the toilet paper head. Maybe I'll show some pictures later..

Have you ever tried to go through a day without saying anything negative? I have been trying to do that, and have caught myself almost saying negative things. I'm not one for criticizing others, but negative speech can include many other things! You should try it for a day or more, because it's a good way to find out what is the root of negative speech. On that note, I found a good verse for this today, in 1 Samuel:

2:3
Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth; for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.

Adieu my friends!